Gratitude

There are so many ways that I've tried to find happiness and joy over the years.

I looked for happiness in my partners.

I looked for happiness in my travels.

I looked for happiness in my child.

 Til one day I truly understood that there is only one person and one place where happiness and joy live.

Don't judge me because I only have one child, you don't know I've had two miscarriages.

Don't judge me because my pants are too snug, you don't realize how much I want them to fit well.....

I shared this on social media a few days ago and it really resonated with so many of you. We know that most people aren't worrying about what we're doing or judging our actions. Truth is, most of us are being far more judgmental about our OWN choices, than what others are doing.

A few weeks ago, I attended the USANA International Convention in Salt Lake City. And within 24 hours of arriving at Convention this year, I received the gift of a leadership lesson that I really didn't want.

The night before the main event, I had a moment where I felt like I had been overlooked and left out of a very special event. I felt like other leaders who were 'on the same level' as me were invited, and I was not asked to be a part of it.

Have you ever worried that when you meet someone who you look up to as a mentor in real life won't be what you expected? I was definitely a bit concerned about the REAL Gary Vee. 

A few weekends ago I burned my journals from high school and University. When I started reading them again, I realized that I would never want my daughter or my mother to read them. What if I were gone tomorrow? Would I want these words to be a part of my legacy? 

I felt so much pain in the words. These weren't gratitude journals. They were full of heartache, loneliness and sexual exploration. 

I have a lot of respect for ladies who are happily in love with their bodies, unconditionally. Right now, this is something that I'm working on. I love the body positive movement and I think that it's super important for us to celebrate all bodies. Yet, I am on a journey of my own and currently, I'm not in love with my outside body shape.

We live in a time where women are showing their authentic selves on social media. Mel Robbins had a super popular post recently about how she feels about her own body. The thing is? I'm not comfortable about how my body looks right now. And yet, I'm still happy.

1. lack of success
2. omission of expected or required action
3. the action or state of not functioning